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The Ancient and Honorable Order of ECV
First, what does E Clampus Vitus mean? Well, that is the greatest mystery of all, because none of us know what it means!
Second, what is the purpose of the society? There is a description of the society that all of you have heard. It is claimed ECV is a historical drinking society; others claim it to be a drinking historical society. The debate continues; it has never been solved.
Third, the objectives of ECV are well known: Members swear to take care of the widows and orphans — especially the widows.
Somehow these fools managed to get themselves demoted all the way to some perceived level of authority or responsibility. Only time and trials will disabuse them of such folly.
Noble Grand Humbug
The Epitome of Middle Management, ignominiously squished between Greybeards and redshirts.
Vice Noble Grand Humbug
The Chairman of every committee, to be blamed for everything that goes wrong and half of what goes right.
Grand Noble Recorder
Essentially, the Secretary.Takes the minutes and helps with the mailings. Mostly watches to see what everyone else is doing.
Josh “Skynyrd” LaChew
Gold Dust Receiver
Show me the money. Collect the receipts. Pay the Bills. Produce highly complexified financial reports. Or, not.
Grand Imperturbable Hangman
The Man in Charge of 601s, Privys and PCBs. Sergeant-at-Arms at meetings and director of events.
Runs the Bar, purchases libations, and checks for conterfeit wooden nickles.
Cooks the vittles. Arguably the most important and thankless job of them all. Don’t burn the beans.
Steve “Festus” Henry
Assistant to the Bartender. Keep the juices flowing.
WE LOVE WIDDERS
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Per caritate viduaribus et orphanibusque sed prime viduaribus. Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
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